Make no mistake about it. Parenting is hard. No matter what anyone says being a parent is difficult.

We welcomed our twin boys earlier this year and my oh my! It has truly been a journey like no other.

Unlike the first time my wife went into labor, this second time was a planned C-section. Let me say that you’re still never prepared for your significant other’s operation regardless of it being planned.

I can still remember the first time my wife had to have an emergent C-section, because the little one had the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck. After laboring for 24 hours, the doctors and nurses all came crashing into our hospital room acting fast to get my wife to the operating room.

As I was sitting outside the operating room I can remember how intense that moment was. The thought of your loved one being operated on was something I could not come to terms with. And so I prayed and patiently waited for the nurse to come get me. Time went very, very slow.

Finally, I was called and I went in to the operating room where the bright blinding lights showed everything and everyone. The whole moment happened in slow motion. Finally, our daughter was born and I could breathe. My superhero wife was still under drugs so she was in and out of the moment as I did my best to capture and remember all that happened on that day in 2017.

This year with the twins it was the same experience we had to repeat. I could not imagine emotional roller coaster my wife experienced throughout the second pregnancy. The women who bring children into this world endure so much us men will never be able to comprehend.

Thankfully, we had a successful second C-section experience. And now we went from three to a family of five in a matter of hours.

This has been quite the journey and I am relieved and thankful to have brought two healthy boys into this world.

My message to the spouse or significant other of a pregnant woman is that you have to be there. Do your best to go to every appointment she has. Do your best to take care of the chores and responsibilities around the house.

She is carrying a living, human being inside her.

For the birth of my daughter I took 3 weeks off and look back knowing that wasn’t enough time. Thanks to FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) parents are able to take up to 12 weeks off to be with their newborn. For the twins I took 6 weeks off. Make sure to check with your Human Resource department to confirm what kind of leave you qualify for.

So many people were surprised when I told them. Yet, 6 weeks is still not a lot of time to bond and be there to see your baby or babies grow when they are born.

I believe there is a culture issue with men taking more than just a couple of weeks off, but I’m hopeful this will change. It’s just better for the whole family when both parents are able to be there. There are even studies out there that promote both parents being there for the child as much as possible in the initial months and years of their childhood.

I believe there is a culture issue with men taking more than just a couple of weeks off, but I’m hopeful this will change.

Of course finances and paying bills are always concerns parents have, especially new parents. I suggest working overtime and doing what you can to put aside some funds to get you through the first few weeks to several months. That way you’re not stressing about going back to work so soon and you can spend time with the little one who needs you.

Also, lean on family for help when possible. We’re so fortunate that both parents on each side are alive and they have been a tremendous help throughout all of this. Even our siblings and extended family have been supporting us in ways we could never imagine.

…lean on family for help when possible.

One lesson I have learned now that I am a father of 3 kids under 2 is that you can’t control much of what happens. However, when it comes to the stuff you can control you have to be diligent and focused on handling those matters effectively and on time. Do not procrastinate, because you have little ones who are depending on you.

Perfection is not the goal when it comes to parenthood. The goal is to make it through each day and enjoy the moments you have with your children right from the start.

Here’s a little from me about how things are going so far.